watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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