I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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