it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
