Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think your dad took our porno
I need to sanitize my soul.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
