i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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