Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
