If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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