I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
