so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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