Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize