I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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