You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
