So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
