Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
