i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
