At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize