Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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