I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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