it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
third nipple confirmed
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
