when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
please don't ironically join a cult
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