that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
