Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I don't think brook has ever known best
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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