This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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