Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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