yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my being single is dangerous.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
