He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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