Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want to make a zoo with you.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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