I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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