break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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