Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Found the puke drawer
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
