Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
