His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
