youre lurking in front of me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize