Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
