Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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