Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
