I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
