The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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