...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
