idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
