Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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