Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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