you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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