He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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