worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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