I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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