I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
