Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
