I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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