I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
