The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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