he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
