My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
