I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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