fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
