also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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