he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
